في نهاية الصفحة ١١٦ من كتابه الطريق السريع الفخور:ملحمة رجل جنوبي بائس(1955-1967)-المجلد الأول من سلسلة رسائل الخوف والبغض:هنتر تومسون
هنتر تومسون كتب رسالة لغاية يومكم هذا(و أعتقد اني سأبقى كذلك للأبد) أرجع أقرأها مرارًا وتكرارًا، بدون مبالغة قرأتها مئات المرات لأن فيها كل شيء ممكن يحتاجه شخص يجد نفسه واقف على مفترق طرق هذه الحياة
هنتر تومسون في رسالته الطويلة هذه قال ان مأساة الانسان تكمن في أنه يكرس حياته كلها لفهم هدفٍ ما بدلًا من نفسه، وما دامه يستمر بفعلته هذا فسيبقى الاضطراب عنوانًا لحياته، هو يعتقد بأننا لازم نبحث عن "أسلوب"حياة شامل يناسبنا ويرضينا, بعدها فقط ومن خلال عدسة ذلك الأسلوب و إطاره بنعرف الأهداف و الأشخاص اللي تناسبنا فمن يسقط منهم داخل إطارنا ذلك فهو مناسب ومن يقع خارجه لا.
عمومًا لن أطيل عليكم لأن الرسالة لحالها تكفي و توفي.
لمن أراد ترجمة عربية فسيجدها هنا (مع التنويه اني لا أعلم شيئًا عن جودتها)
هذا النص الأصلي:
In April of 1958,
Hunter S. Thompson was 22 years old when he wrote this letter to his friend
Hume Logan in response to a request for life advice.
April 22, 1958
57 Perry Street
New York City
Dear Hume,
You ask advice: ah,
what a very human and very dangerous thing to do! For to give advice to a man
who asks what to do with his life implies something very close to egomania. To
presume to point a man to the right and ultimate goal— to point with a
trembling finger in the RIGHT direction is something only a fool would take
upon himself.
I am not a fool, but I
respect your sincerity in asking my advice. I ask you though, in listening to
what I say, to remember that all advice can only be a product of the man who
gives it. What is truth to one may be disaster to another. I do not see life
through your eyes, nor you through mine. If I were to attempt to give you
specific advice, it would be too much like the blind leading the blind.
“To be, or not to be:
that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and
arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles … ”
(Shakespeare)
And indeed, that IS
the question: whether to float with the tide, or to swim for a goal. It is a
choice we must all make consciously or unconsciously at one time in our lives.
So few people understand this! Think of any decision you’ve ever made which had
a bearing on your future: I may be wrong, but I don’t see how it could have
been anything but a choice however indirect— between the two things I’ve
mentioned: the floating or the swimming.
But why not float if
you have no goal? That is another question. It is unquestionably better to
enjoy the floating than to swim in uncertainty. So how does a man find a goal?
Not a castle in the stars, but a real and tangible thing. How can a man be sure
he’s not after the “big rock candy mountain,” the enticing sugar-candy goal
that has little taste and no substance?
The answer— and, in a
sense, the tragedy of life— is that we seek to understand the goal and not the
man. We set up a goal which demands of us certain things: and we do these
things. We adjust to the demands of a concept which CANNOT be valid. When you
were young, let us say that you wanted to be a fireman. I feel reasonably safe
in saying that you no longer want to be a fireman. Why? Because your perspective
has changed. It’s not the fireman who has changed, but you. Every man is the
sum total of his reactions to experience. As your experiences differ and
multiply, you become a different man, and hence your perspective changes. This
goes on and on. Every reaction is a learning process; every significant
experience alters your perspective.
So it would seem
foolish, would it not, to adjust our lives to the demands of a goal we see from
a different angle every day? How could we ever hope to accomplish anything
other than galloping neurosis?
The answer, then, must
not deal with goals at all, or not with tangible goals, anyway. It would take
reams of paper to develop this subject to fulfillment. God only knows how many
books have been written on “the meaning of man” and that sort of thing, and god
only knows how many people have pondered the subject. (I use the term “god only
knows” purely as an expression.) There’s very little sense in my trying to give
it up to you in the proverbial nutshell, because I’m the first to admit my
absolute lack of qualifications for reducing the meaning of life to one or two
paragraphs.
I’m going to steer
clear of the word “existentialism,” but you might keep it in mind as a key of
sorts. You might also try something called Being and Nothingness by Jean-Paul
Sartre, and another little thing called Existentialism: From Dostoyevsky to
Sartre. These are merely suggestions. If you’re genuinely satisfied with what
you are and what you’re doing, then give those books a wide berth. (Let
sleeping dogs lie.) But back to the answer. As I said, to put our faith in
tangible goals would seem to be, at best, unwise. So we do not strive to be
firemen, we do not strive to be bankers, nor policemen, nor doctors. WE STRIVE
TO BE OURSELVES.
But don’t
misunderstand me. I don’t mean that we can’t BE firemen, bankers, or doctors—
but that we must make the goal conform to the individual, rather than make the
individual conform to the goal. In every man, heredity and environment have
combined to produce a creature of certain abilities and desires— including a
deeply ingrained need to function in such a way that his life will be
MEANINGFUL. A man has to BE something; he has to matter.
As I see it then, the
formula runs something like this: a man must choose a path which will let his
ABILITIES function at maximum efficiency toward the gratification of his
DESIRES. In doing this, he is fulfilling a need (giving himself identity by
functioning in a set pattern toward a set goal), he avoids frustrating his
potential (choosing a path which puts no limit on his self-development), and he
avoids the terror of seeing his goal wilt or lose its charm as he draws closer
to it (rather than bending himself to meet the demands of that which he seeks,
he has bent his goal to conform to his own abilities and desires).
In short, he has not
dedicated his life to reaching a pre-defined goal, but he has rather chosen a
way of life he KNOWS he will enjoy. The goal is absolutely secondary: it is the
functioning toward the goal which is important. And it seems almost ridiculous
to say that a man MUST function in a pattern of his own choosing; for to let
another man define your own goals is to give up one of the most meaningful
aspects of life— the definitive act of will which makes a man an individual.
Let’s assume that you
think you have a choice of eight paths to follow (all pre-defined paths, of
course). And let’s assume that you can’t see any real purpose in any of the
eight. THEN— and here is the essence of all I’ve said— you MUST FIND A NINTH
PATH.
Naturally, it isn’t as
easy as it sounds. You’ve lived a relatively narrow life, a vertical rather
than a horizontal existence. So it isn’t any too difficult to understand why
you seem to feel the way you do. But a man who procrastinates in his CHOOSING
will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.
So if you now number
yourself among the disenchanted, then you have no choice but to accept things
as they are, or to seriously seek something else. But beware of looking for
goals: look for a way of life. Decide how you want to live and then see what
you can do to make a living WITHIN that way of life. But you say, “I don’t know
where to look; I don’t know what to look for.”
And there’s the crux.
Is it worth giving up what I have to look for something better? I don’t know—
is it? Who can make that decision but you? But even by DECIDING TO LOOK, you go
a long way toward making the choice.
If I don’t call this
to a halt, I’m going to find myself writing a book. I hope it’s not as
confusing as it looks at first glance. Keep in mind, of course, that this is MY
WAY of looking at things. I happen to think that it’s pretty generally
applicable, but you may not. Each of us has to create our own credo— this
merely happens to be mine.
If any part of it
doesn’t seem to make sense, by all means call it to my attention. I’m not
trying to send you out “on the road” in search of Valhalla, but merely pointing
out that it is not necessary to accept the choices handed down to you by life
as you know it. There is more to it than that— no one HAS to do something he
doesn’t want to do for the rest of his life. But then again, if that’s what you
wind up doing, by all means convince yourself that you HAD to do it. You’ll
have lots of company.
And that’s it for now.
Until I hear from you again, I remain,
your friend,
Hunter
57 Perry Street
New York City
Hunter
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